Hey Reader,

Welcome back to Little Leadership Lessons, my (normally) Saturday newsletter sharing quick, powerful insights from coaching seven-figure creators. These lessons help you grow as a leader so you can grow your business—with more clarity, alignment, and peace of mind.

Happy Monday!

Yesterday was my birthday and I spent the weekend compiling reflections on my life into 38 lessons to celebrate my 38th birthday. This week's newsletter is a departure in delivery day and format as a result.

Many years ago, I used to write annual birthday essays sharing the most important lessons I've learned over time. They were an annual tradition I cherished because it allowed me to reflect and consolidate what I think I know to be true.

Having a log of my learnings over the years creates the opportunity to capture a moment in time. And looking back on those moments shows me how far I've come.

So I'm getting back to it this year.

These are not lessons I think you should apply to your own life, they're merely what has worked for me. Please read them as "advice to myself" rather than advice for you. But of course, if something resonates then please take it with you and remix it to fit your needs.

Here's what I think I've learned about life, love, work, adventure, and more in my time on this planet...

Let’s get to it.

A Beautiful Photo to Quiet Your Body and Mind

38 Lessons On Life, Work, Love, and Adventure

Here are ten of my favorite lessons from the full essay, which you can read here:

One: Being aware of other people's emotions is not the same as being aware of your own emotions.

I have a superpower in recognizing other people's emotions thanks to hyper-vigilance, but I've had to work very hard to feel my own emotions.

Two: Having needs is not a flaw or a weakness.

Every human being on the planet has needs of all kinds, including love, belonging, safety, and wellbeing. Some of us learn to neglect our own needs in order to stay safe and belong in our family systems. Unwinding this is hard but worthy work.

Three: Opening to love is a scary process.

First is learning that love exists. Then that love can be safe. Then that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. And then there is the long, dark, deep work to actually learn to love ourselves.

Four: Being a father is one of the most exhausting and challenging things I have ever done. It is also, without comparison, the most rewarding.

Seeing my wife become a mother and flourish in that role. Seeing our boys develop into their own beings and personalities. Getting to heal my own inner world through parenting. All of it is beautiful and I am so grateful for it.

Five: Done right, marriage is the ultimate long-term friendship.

The challenge of being together your entire adult life is figuring out who you are together. And what a beautiful, brutal process that is. Damn if marriage isn't the hardest and most valuable thing that exists in this world.

Six: Most people don't struggle with what to do. They struggle with the emotional cost of doing it.

Most of the time I find that people already know the answer, but they don’t like it because of the emotional cost. Change happens when the cost of not doing it finally becomes higher than the emotional cost of following through.

Seven: You can be kind and also get results.

Too often these get pitted against each other. But I know many leaders who are kind much more often than not and have achieved remarkable lives.

Eight: Sleep is the ultimate skill worth building.

I have struggled with sleep my whole life. There has never been a time when sleep felt safe. To this day I struggle with it. And in that is the key to my longevity and wellness. I deserve rest. I deserve safety. I deserve to keep working on it at the soul level until sleep feels safe.

Nine: When you feel lost or scared or sad or anxious, go into the yard, take your shoes off, stand barefoot in the grass, and look up at the big beautiful sky.

Hold one hand over your heart and one over your stomach. Recite all the good you have done this day. Thank God for every little blessing. Cry the tears you’ve held back. 99% of the time, you know things will be ok.

Ten: Time in nature, almost no matter how much, is always healing.

Whether it’s an hour in the garden or 72 hours in the wilderness, I’ve never regretted time outdoors. The longer doses are what most reset my nervous system.

What to Do Next

1. Read the full essay of 38 lessons here
2. Reply and tell me what lesson you'd add to your own version of this list as lesson #1
3. Forward this newsletter with a friend!

Thanks for reading!

Much love and respect,