Hey Reader,

Welcome back to Little Leadership lessons, a newsletter that breaks a real coaching session with an established entrepreneur down into a universal lesson and coaching questions you can use in your business.

This is, as far as I know, the only newsletter on the web that gives you a behind the scenes look at the psychology of seven-figure creators and entrepreneurs based on real coaching sessions.

I have a couple of rare spots open in my coaching practice. More on that at the end.

The Situation

In the first session of the new year, I asked my client for an update on their holidays and how the year rounded out in her business. As she spoke, I could feel my body tightening just listening.

Two million dollars in top line revenue. Multiple brand deals. A full cohort of her latest course. Letting one employee go. Beginning the process of hiring two others. And oh by the way two small children at home.

I was tired just listening to the list.

“So what feels most important for us to focus on in our work together this year?”

She started listing all of the goals for the year. It was an impressive list, so impressive that it made me remember how much stress she had been carrying just before the end of the year.

“This all sounds great and there’s some important opportunity here for us. Before we go on, I’m curious… what are you feeling emotionally and in your body as we talk about all of these goals? And how was your stress level as you finished out the year?” I asked.

She paused for a beat, laughed, and then replied: “It’s funny, I just went to the doctor the other day and she said the number one thing she wants me to focus on this year is lowering my stress levels and improving my gut health.”

We both agreed that it seemed important to account for this in our work. The business success only matters if it also supports my client’s wellbeing.

The Emotional Blocker

I asked my client to think back to the last time that she felt both a sense of peace and growth in her business. When she couldn’t recall a time, I asked her to imagine what it might feel like to experience both at the same time.

I could see in her body language that the question was bumping up against an invisible belief about whether it was possible. So I offered that we could pretend it’s a magic world where both coexist.

This allowed her to see that the core thing she would feel is enough space from work and her devices to be able to take care of herself.

“I’d have boundaries around my work so that I could do all the things my doctor told me to do.”

She started making the list of recommendations:

• Stop work each day at 5pm
• Get outside first thing upon waking for light
• Eat breakfast early to avoid fasting workouts
• Meditate for 20 minutes
• Sauna 3–4 days per week
• Drink bone broth daily
• Take supplements for gut health

I paused her.

“Laura, can I pause you? What do you notice about what you just did there?”

Smirking, she knew her answer immediately, “I made a list of things I don’t have time for.”

While I agreed, I saw something more... “Yes, that may be true. Can I share what I saw you do?”

“Of course.”

“I saw you turn a stated goal of experiencing more peace internally into a to-do list of tasks. I don’t know about you, but it sounds like a lot of work to me.”

She agreed and realized that she was applying the same thinking she uses in her business — the kind that led to all the stress to begin with — to her sense of wellbeing.

She was trying to use the same tools for a very different job. And it felt clear those tools weren’t likely to produce the desired result of inner peace, lowered stress, and fewer physical symptoms of that stress.

The Breakthrough

We hit rewind on our conversation and shifted from problem-solving to possibility.

We acknowledged that stress levels and gut health are often related and that if she could go from stress to peace — at least more often than never — that it would likely have a positive impact on her gut health.

“If we take peace as the goal rather than a list of health to-do’s, what would have to be true for more peace to exist?” I asked.

She paused and thought hard.

I offered one more qualifier: “Let’s assume for a moment that you’ll be able to make the same amount of money no matter what.”

This gave her more mental freedom to imagine possibility.

First, she hates going outside in the morning freezing temps. But what she can do is get a sun lamp, eat, and meditate before starting work.

She might not be able to take a walk every day, but she can every other day. She can’t quit social media, but she could try not posting after 5pm.

And maybe she could try out a rule of not working after the kids get home at 4:30, which means having a ritual for when they get home and having other things to look forward to in the evening.

And that’s when she realized the shift she would need to make:

“I would have to design my days around peace as the goal rather than productivity at all costs. And to do that I’d have to trust that I can still have a thriving business without me being the engine behind everything.”

She was on a roll and kept going with, “I would need a lot more help. And I’d have to be willing to admit when I have done enough each day. And I’d have to find other things to look forward to that support my wellbeing. A lot would have to change.”

There was that list-making habit again. But this time it was in support of a list that felt honest and true.

I shared that this is a shift I’ve supported many clients through and that I know for a fact that it is possible to experience both peace and growth because I've seen it firsthand.

But I also know that the process is slow because it requires trust.

“In my experience change like this takes time because your body has to learn that risks — or things that appear to be risks — can yield positive results. So rather than changing everything at once, it probably looks like making one small change and seeing that the business doesn’t fall apart.”

She agreed that that felt more doable and that we could layer more change on as we prove it is safe.

She left with two homework items:

1. Create an end of work day ritual and try it 10 minutes before the kids get home with no work after for two weeks
2. Playfully research the most indulgent sauna setup that would work for their home, just for fun

Lasting change often begins in little moments of insight like this.

Questions to Apply This to Your Business

• What is something you want in life that feels impossible without giving up something else you want? (Peace vs growth)
• If you knew for a fact it was possible to have both, what would that make possible? How would that feel?
• Where in your business or life are you making lists when what you really need is to start with one small change?

Thanks for reading as always. I'm grateful you choose to allocate precious inbox space to my work.

Before you go: if Little Leadership Lessons resonates with you, it's probably because you can see yourself in my clients. While my practice is usually full, I have two client spots open to start the year.
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​If you are a founder or entrepreneur earning at least $500k in revenue each year, check out my coaching page and apply to work together.

Much love and respect,

PS: Shout out to all of you coaches and leaders who turned up for my workshop on the core framework behind Presence-Based Coaching. It was fun to step into my role as CEO with you and to introduce you to the work we do. If you're a coach, we have trainings throughout the year.​